Recently, people close to me & who have touched my life, have endured a great loss. As many of my followers know, I have not written in my blog for quite some time. This loss has driven me to write again. I express myself best through writing, and I feel that the departure of a loved one warrants me to hit the keyboard & start expressing my thoughts on this subject.
We all have lost a loved one. A loved one can be a parent, child, sibling, and to some of us? A pet. No matter the entity, the loss is painful. The pain is numbing. Seems so wrong to use the words pain and numb in the same sentence, as they are completely opposite. However, the pain can be so excruciating that our bodies take over for our minds, and it tries to heal itself by blocking the truth. We hurt so bad, that we do not want to feel the pain any longer. We shut down like a machine.
I am not quite sure how our coping mechanism works, but somehow, with time, that bodily function, forces us to face the truth, re-live it, and dares us to move ahead while looking back and being able to giggle without guilt. When someone moves on to their resting place, we do not move on. We stand frozen, and look back. We cannot move ahead because more often then not? Closure was never there. The death is sudden and unexpected. In some cases, the departure is expected and not fully taken as a reality until after the fact. We are forced to go on with our lives with the NEED to have said goodbye, so we pray. We sit in our homes, alone in a room, and talk to the air in great hope that our lost one is a presence in that room and s/he is listening. You look for signs. A light to flicker, a picture to fall, or a gentle touch felt on our shoulder. This does not happen, and then we break yet again. We must believe in our hearts, that their is an after-life, and we will reunite again. We must believe that our loved one has taken on a new form, and is with us. Maybe as a beautiful butterfly, or an added star in the night sky. Maybe the gentle breeze on a hot day or the warm sun on a cool day. I believe that we are united in our own unique way when we are bonded by blood, so if no new form takes over, our hearts grow a little bigger, and a piece of them lives on within us.
May the person who suffers, find peace
May the peace in Gods heaven take away the pain on earth
May loved ones reunite in a kingdom one can only dream about
In a world so large and so powerful, something greater must exist
We must suffer to become stronger
We must cry so that we can feel the pleasure in our laugh
We must remember the past to focus on the future
We must let go of what we can no longer hold
We must allow others in, so the hurt can exit
Forgive yourself if you said something you regret
Forgive the dying for leaving us
Forget the wrong-doings, for they cannot be changed
And remember...
you will smile. Someday, I do not know when, but you will smile.
:-)
ReplyDelete~Stephen